Redefine Your Idea of Supermom

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Being a Mom comes with many responsibilities. Haven’t we all complained at one time or another (or everyday) that we wish there were more hours in the day, or that we didn’t need sleep, while everyone else still does? I know I have found myself lost in those thoughts many times. How do we get all of our responsibilities taken care of in just 24 hours? How can some moms seem to conquer all of our list, as well as 483 more things on top of that, making us feel ashamed of our “tiny” list? No matter how much we do in our lives and the lives of our families, there always seems to be another mom out there who blows it all out of the water, leaving you to wonder how the heck she finds the time. Maybe things aren’t as they seem.

 

 Ideas to help you redefine your idea of being a supermom and stop being so hard on yourself.

 

I have had people make comments to me about how much I can do in one day or how much I seem to have a grip on life. I by no means do it all or have a grip on life. Not always. There are plenty of times I feel the same way about other moms, who are handling a load far beyond my own, still keeping such a calm attitude. I seriously have to question if she is, in fact, a robot. I feel overwhelmed when I have a few days of non-stop busyness. My nerves get frazzled and I can snap at anyone at any moment. So watch out! I have stuff to do! My family has learned pretty well that when I start to get overwhelmed, they need to back off and help out.

Basically, I’ve come to question this “mom of all trades”, the one who is so happy, so calm with her kids, so involved in the school, makes amazing homemade meals all the time, has plenty of money, fun, vacations, makes great crafts, has a clean house, healthy relationships, and a well balanced marriage. How can that be possible? I’ve realized…. it isn’t entirely possible. I realized I needed to take a closer look. 

 

Let’s talk about a household. Having a clean, organized, and peaceful home. Most of the time when you go to someone’s house, they are expecting you, so they make it look good. Maybe you visit this mom’s house and wonder how she can keep the house so clean and how she gets her kids to pick up after themselves.

 

A few things to consider

1. She may literally only clean when someone is coming over.

2. She may have rooms, floors, or closets that NO ONE is allowed to go in. That’s because all the regular stuff from around the house is shoved into these places, so no one knows it exists. 

3. She may, in fact, have a maid. On the DL of course. 

4. Ok, she really does clean this well and has her kids well-trained. Keep in mind, other areas of her life may be lacking. A clean house doesn’t mean she’s superhuman. Everyone has priorities. 

5. Not that you need to nit pick your friends, but you may be disillusioned by an orderly house. A more thorough investigation might prove she does not, in fact, have the time in her day to deep clean the house. Dust, cobwebs, toys under the couch, dirty floorboards…. all things we won’t see, unless we are looking for them. It just proves that things aren’t always what they seem. (Give your friends a break though, we can’t do it all.)

 

Let’s talk about meals. Eating out is expensive. Most of us cannot afford to do it all the time. Lots of families eat at home, three meals a day. How do these moms have time to cook all day on top of everything else?

 

A few things to consider

1. Maybe she doesn’t cook everything from scratch. It saves a lot of time to use ready to go foods which can easily appear to be home cooked. 

2. Maybe she does cook dinner from scratch. It is possible, the other meals in the day are far more simple. Cereal for breakfast and leftovers for lunch.

3. Some moms have a trade-off system with someone else in their house. Alternating days with the husband, so some nights she has more time for other chores.

 

Let’s talk about doing fun things with the kids. You know the moms who go do all the fun (often free) community events and everyone knows her. The mom who takes her kids to all kinds of fun and educational places for them to explore. Maybe even has memberships to these places. What about the mom who plays all kinds of fun games with her kids, does science experiments, has sensory play all day, never uses electronics. No wait, what about the mom who home-schools more than one grade at the same time, and takes them out places, and her kids are super well-behaved and educated. Yeah, you know one don’t you?

 

A few things to consider

1. There are a lot of moms who home-school more than one child and get so many other things accomplished as well. They may have had practice and usually have ample space. These moms might be really good at prioritizing their days. Everyone has their own skill set.

2. These moms might also not spend as much time with friends or extended family due to lack of time. Home-school is time consuming, even if you have it down. You are the teacher, so hours of your own time will be dedicated each day. On top of that there are still meals to cook, a house to clean, errands to run, appointments to make, and fun to be had. Chances are, coffee with friends and dinner with extended family don’t happen as often as in some other families. 

 

Let’s talk about PTA moms. We tried a “brick and mortar” school for 1st grade, so I had the chance to be involved in a regular style school. I wanted to be involved in my son’s school. I like to know people when I see them and make new friends, while helping all the kids have a great school experience. From attending meetings for three separate school events, I learned that much time is dedicated to volunteering at school. You must plan on adding a part time (unpaid) job to the long list of things you already have going on if you plan to be really involved in your child’s school. 

 

A few things to consider. 

1. It is often the case that these moms aren’t involved in that many hobbies of their own. Or maybe they really enjoy being around children and being close to their own children all day. That said, when the kids start going to school, many moms find themselves with extra time on their hands. We all choose to fill it in different ways. Some moms choose volunteering at the school and being an active part of the groups that support it. That’s OK. 

2. I heard it straight from a mom who was in envy of another mom. First she listed off all that other mom did and I could tell she was impressed (I was too). Then she listed off all she did (as if it were not enough compared to that other mom) It was still way more than I could handle. I asked her if she feels overwhelmed and she responded that she was, a little. She said her house showed it. So, it goes without saying really, but I’ll say it anyway…. you can’t make more time, you just take it from other things. 

 

So let’s see…

None of us can do it all. None of us are doing it all. If someone seems to be doing it all, try to think about the full scope of their lives. You will realize this mom is only human and perhaps what you are seeing is her strong point. There is no need to compare. We all have different strong points and different weak points. Most people don’t go around exposing what they are not good at. Working together is what truly makes the world balance out and the community grow strong. Everyone does what they are best at, and things get done. Lacking in any area, doesn’t take your “supermom” title away. You are awesome in all that you do. Be real, it’s healthy.

 

 

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